France's Kind of Party
by GoldenxXxKitsune
Summary: Two-Shot. Crack-Fic. Inspired by: "I'm sexy and i know it" , the chatroulette guy dancing to "peacock" , and the m&m's chocolate commercial.
1. Chapter 1

this is a fic my friend and I wrote last July and we decided to put it on here.

France sauntered into his kitchen to get the huge fancy dinner started for his party that night. He strutted around with his iPod in hand and earphones in his ears from the cupboard, to the counter, to the refrigerator, to the counter again, then to the pantry, and back to the counter.

_"I'm sexy and I know it!" _ He sang while mixing stuff into a bowl and dancing around the kitchen. He continued to mix and cook and throw things into the oven to bake. His servants passed by like nothing was wrong (it was a common occurrence for France to dance around the house singing with his iPod in his ears.)

_"This is how I roll, animal print and a big afro."_

He mixed the batter for his soufflé and danced over to pop it into the oven.

_"No shoes no shirt and I still get service!"_

He chuckled at this line 'cause he knew it to be true from experience. He sprinkled herbs on the chicken and threw into the oven as well.

_"When I walk through the spot, this is what I see, er'body stop and staring at me, I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it…"_

He chuckled again and picked up a mixing bowl and started to stir and dance around the counter in the center of the kitchen.

_"Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle YEAH!"_ He shook his hips in a shimmy and spun around on his heels and stopped facing the entrance to the kitchen.

England was staring as if he saw someone kick the flying mint bunny all the way to China's house.

"Um….. France…..?"

France just looked at him then down at his bowl then his iPod. He clicked a button and smirked up at England.

_"I WANNA SEE YOUR PEACOCK-COCK-COCK! YOUR PEACOCK-COCK-COCK!"_

He started pelvic thrusting with the bowl still in hand at England's direction.

Disgusted, England cried out, turned around and fled to the bathroom to throw up.

France continued screaming the peacock song… then America walked in.

"SO IT'S THAT KINDA PARTY!"

He ran to go tell everyone else.

Taking off his jacket and tie as he did.

Gaara-Fangirl1107 (she is on deviantart only) and i worked on this in less than ten minutes. IT WAS SOOOO MUCH FUN!


	2. Chapter 2

England walked out of the bathroom and down the hall. He dared not go back to the kitchen in fear of what he might see. But, unfortunately he saw a crazed America running through the house headed for the back yard… and taking off his clothes.

"America?! What the bloody hell are you doing?!" England yelled and ran after him picking up America's clothes along the way. He followed him out to the patio where everyone else was.

"Hey yo dudes! France says it's 'that' kind of party." He said while winking and nudging the air with his elbow seductively.

"So that explains why you don't have any clothes on…" Germany said.

"I want to take my clothes off too!" Italy said as he unbuttoned his shirt.

Germany pounced on him and started buttoning the shirt back, "ITALY!"

"France would throw a party like that wouldn't he?" Russia said, then took a side glance at China, "I wouldn't mind seeing a certain someone without a shirt on…"

"Eeep! Stay away from me aru~!" China said taking a few steps back.

Japan starting shaking his head violently with his eyes closed, "Please put your clothes back on! Be decent!"

America, knowing it made Japan nervous when people didn't have shirts on, put his arm around Japan's shoulders and said, "Aww c'mon Japan! We're all friends here, we don't mind if you're as skinny as a twig!"

"America, be polite!" yelled England.

"It's not that! It's just so… indecent!"

As soon as Japan said that the loudspeakers of the house turned on and they all heard, "TO THE WINDOOOOWS TO THE WALLS! TO THE SWEAT DRIP DOWN MY BALLS! ALL YOU BITCHES CRAWL!"

Everyone went silent for a moment.

America started laughing, Japan tried to cover his ears, England went pale, Italy tried to get Germany to dance (who unmercifully restrained him in return), and Russia started to slowly follow China around the yard.

"Well, I definitely hope everyone is enjoying themselves, because I know I am!" France said as he came through the door… completely naked and winked.

"Well chaps, I'm leaving!" England yelled as soon as he saw France.

"Oh but mon amour! The party's only just started!" France said as he hung on to England to stop him from leaving.

"Get off me frog!"

As this argument continued Italy had successfully evaded Germany and took off his shirt and pants and was trying to get Japan to do the same.

"Vee~ C'mon Japan! It's nice and cool with your clothes off, aren't you hot?!"

"Get away from me!" Japan said desperately as he ran away and straight into China knocking them both to the ground. They looked up and saw Russia standing over them, "Oh great…"

"Hello there Japan." Russia smiled sweetly, "Have you come to join China's and my game? We're going to play strip poker right now."

"St-Strip poker?" The two Asians said together.

"Yeah. I poke you continuously until I get you to comply and strip."

"No way!" China yelled and kicked him away.

America had finally joined the argument with England and France, unfortunately for England he took France's side. "C'mon England! Take off your clothes everyone else is doing it! See look at Italy over there!" America yelled and pointed to Italy.

"Italy! Put your clothes back on!" Germany yelled at him as he pinned him to the ground.

"Ouch, Germany! Quit squeezing me like that!" Italy cried back.

"I wouldn't do this if you had your clothes on!"

"Oh I bet you you would Germany~!" France said seductively, "You obviously like little Italy without his clothes on and are too protective to have him be seen half-naked by anyone else but you."

Germany blushed then growled, "That's not true you pervert!"

"Ve~ Yes it is."

"Shut up Italy, you're not helping!"

"Attention everybody! Attention! I hope everyone is having a good time, I think we should back off the drinks, we've already had too many apparently. Party on!" France announced.

From that day onward, all the parties for the countries were held at Austria's house under his strict supervision.


End file.
